Die Another Day

The gun felt heavy. It had been a long day and the Apaches were showing no signs of slowing down. The heat overhead was painful and the rocks underneath didn’t make it easier. Ali was on the verge of a breakdown. It had been over 8 hours since he and his younger brother had taken refuge behind the narrow hillock to escape the relentless fusillade of the American gunships and it didn’t look to end anytime soon.

Suddenly, the rocks in front of him erupted. Before he could react he was knocked out cold by a shower of stone chips. The wing-man took a hard look down at the hillock and tapped the pilot on the shoulder, “I think we have got the little rats. Let’s roll.” The helicopter banked in a sharp turn and flew away towards the setting mountain sun.

Ali woke up. It was dark. He found it painful to see anything. His hand instinctively found its way towards his eyes. His right eye was bleeding. Ali squinted in the dark. He groped around and found a body. He pushed himself towards it and tried to make out the face. His brother lay dead, killed by wayward shrapnel.
Ali searched the pockets of the corpse. He found two rounds of ammunition. “This would have to do,” he sighed. He slowly got up and started preparing to go down the mountains. He let himself a rare smile. He had lost his parents and his brother but he was lucky. He had lived to die another day.

Ten Points of Bongonama

What does a Bong (since West Bengal is Paschim Banga now and its inhabitants can be called Bangabashis or Bongs in short) want from a city?

1)      A good Rock, Blues and Metal culture- involves live shows and disheveled guys making their guitars cry in a haze of smoke in pubs.

2)      Easy availability of booze and by booze I mean Whiskey – right from the lowly DSP BLACK to the Premium signature single malt whiskeys and Rum ( We don’t care much about wine and vodka)

3)      Ganja (Marijuana) available whenever called upon.

4)      A good cultural hot spot to hang out at- includes bookstores, theaters, cinema halls etc.

5)      An excellent football-mad crowd- We SIMPLY DON’T COMPROMISE ON THIS. No matter how well The Men in Blue perform, to us Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Barcelona, Real Madrid, A.C.Milan, Chelsea, Bayern, Dortmund, Argentina, Spain and Brazil matter more( go ahead call us Brown sahibs!)

6)      Local tea stalls selling smoke and cheap piping hot teas with a place to sit nearby.

7)      A yapping bunch to yap along with us while we try to solve various problems by talking incessantly. ( They should know to use the slang BAAL)

8)      There should be at least one pandal in the city celebrating Durga Pujo.( No we don’t give a damn even if it costs us a fortune to see that Pujo)

9)      Several eateries which serve maach-bhaat (rice and fish), Chinese cuisine and biryani.

10)   Most important of all- a city which provides jobs that enables us to do what we love the most: LYADH (laziness)

 

I do not speak for all Bengalis though. Some of us are saner than this list suggests. However for the majority of us, we simply don’t call a city our home unless it fulfills these criteria.

 

Of all the cities I have been to, Bangalore, Delhi, Nagpur, Mumbai and of course Kolkata are our homes. If you know of any other city which we should visit, let us know!