What does a Bong (since West Bengal is Paschim Banga now and its inhabitants can be called Bangabashis or Bongs in short) want from a city?
1) A good Rock, Blues and Metal culture- involves live shows and disheveled guys making their guitars cry in a haze of smoke in pubs.
2) Easy availability of booze and by booze I mean Whiskey – right from the lowly DSP BLACK to the Premium signature single malt whiskeys and Rum ( We don’t care much about wine and vodka)
3) Ganja (Marijuana) available whenever called upon.
4) A good cultural hot spot to hang out at- includes bookstores, theaters, cinema halls etc.
5) An excellent football-mad crowd- We SIMPLY DON’T COMPROMISE ON THIS. No matter how well The Men in Blue perform, to us Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Barcelona, Real Madrid, A.C.Milan, Chelsea, Bayern, Dortmund, Argentina, Spain and Brazil matter more( go ahead call us Brown sahibs!)
6) Local tea stalls selling smoke and cheap piping hot teas with a place to sit nearby.
7) A yapping bunch to yap along with us while we try to solve various problems by talking incessantly. ( They should know to use the slang BAAL)
8) There should be at least one pandal in the city celebrating Durga Pujo.( No we don’t give a damn even if it costs us a fortune to see that Pujo)
9) Several eateries which serve maach-bhaat (rice and fish), Chinese cuisine and biryani.
10) Most important of all- a city which provides jobs that enables us to do what we love the most: LYADH (laziness)
I do not speak for all Bengalis though. Some of us are saner than this list suggests. However for the majority of us, we simply don’t call a city our home unless it fulfills these criteria.
Of all the cities I have been to, Bangalore, Delhi, Nagpur, Mumbai and of course Kolkata are our homes. If you know of any other city which we should visit, let us know!